And Now Your Momma Knows has been created by myself Anthony L. Lewis for pure entertainment. You might as well call me the Jerry Springer of the internet. I have something different going on everyday were anyone can participate and enjoy! I am setting out to entertain Everyone. And Now Your Momma Knows!
Monday, January 17, 2011
Let's see where today takes us!
So I had a very good weekend. So now it's back to the work week. So let's see where today takes us!
OK so I am working but at the same time I am checking out what is going on with in the walls of facebook. So I have some entertainment for you. My friend Eugene posted one of his questions for the day on his page and it started some controversy. So check it out:
Question for today. Do you thinks its wrong for someone to put there close friends on hold in order to concentrate on repairing a rocky marraige or relationship?
-ifeel as tho ' if u really have confidence &nd faith that ur marraige or relationship is going to last &nd is worth trying to repair...than yeaah ifeel thats oh'kay to put ur close friends on hold &nd if they are close friends lke they are suppose to be than they will still be there when u finish repairing ur marriaige or friendship.
Real friends going to support you even if they feel you're making a bad decision or not. If they not your real friend they going feel like you're pushing them aside and just stop talking to you all together.
Well marsha I don't think that's completly the case most good friends would support you no matter what. Than you have some friends who are jealous of what you have and would rather see your relationship or marraige fail.
You also have some friends that you would complain to about your realationship too despite what ever advice they give you going do what you feel is right for you until the time comes to call the relationship quits. Now do you that friend should feel insulted that you went against there advice even though they predicted the end result of that relationship?
Question? What could possibly make you have to push your close friends to the side to work on your marriage? This is the reason why so many relationships have guys or girls NEVER hanging out or spending time with their close friends. Why do people feel that they have to take a break from their friends in order to make their relationship work? I did that before but I was in my early 20's! I think once you grow up mentally to a certain point and are dating someone who also has past that younger way of thinking you will find that your relationship problems should NOT have to add up to you take time or space away from anyone!
That's the major problem with some marriages/relationships - the people in them talk too much. They tell all their business to any "friend" who will listen or that they feel will be on their side - never telling of all the things they are doing wrong - only highlighting the negetive traits of the spouse. People in marriages especially should seek counsel from those who have experience in what they are going through. Friends should not know eveything that is going on between a husband and wife as well meaning as they are
Question in what situation does the true friend need to no longer be around in order for a person to repair their relationship? That is what I would like to know from everyone that agrees that the friends should take some space away. Unless the friends are within the problem then what is the purpose for you to no longer remain friends?
Anthony that's a call that you would make not the friend,If a friend knows your're trying to repair your relationship/Marriage they will step a side for the time being until you come around!
nobody is saying stop being friends but in marriage, your top priority is keeping your family in tack and if your friend is true he or she knows how important that is and will automatically take a step back. I'm not suggesting you don't talk to this person just spend more time repairing your relationship.
But why would a person have to no longer remain friends in order for a relationship to work? See in my experience this is usually something that a woman comes up with. But what they don't realize is they are only making their relationship worst by wanting their spouse friends to step away. There is a reason that guys have strong bonds with their friends. It helps a person become balanced. Sure I don't need to see my friends or talk to them everyday but I do enjoy their friendship and without it my balance is no longer their and trust me that is not going to make things any better for my spouse. She maybe happier but I will not and the pot will only start to boil over!
The thing is not one person has explained to me yet why a person friends would have to no longer be present if one was to have issues in their relationship. If everyone are adults and act as adults then who's to say you no longer should be as close as you were because you are having problems?
No it is not wrong ur SPOUSE is" supposed" 2 come be4 evry1. @ant 2 answer ya question he didnt say no longer remainin frnds he said put them on hold, which shud be understood by true friends no mattter how much they dont want 2 or like it ...they will supprot ya decisions on wat u need 2 do 2 mend ur marriage. Sometimes frnds can interfere wit u mendin things wit the words they speak or jus by bein a true frnd nd always bein there when u need them cuz u may be leavin ur spouse 2 hang wit ur friends when u shud be home tendin 2 ur spouse.
Chaunte I once upon a time would agree with you but I do understand what you are saying. And sorry for saying that you can no longer be friends but I mean to be a friend on hold. OK here is some insight in to my life which is why I disagree with mostly all of you and let me know if you under stand or agree.
I got married when I was 18 and I use to take breaks from my friends for my wife at the time. Long story short in the end it got me no where but my friends are still here. They did understand and they did step away. OK years later I was around 23 and I had another serious long term relationship where I was with a girl for 5 1/2 years. Every so often she felt that I should take a break from my friends and give her all of my attention and only be around her. So once again I did and once again my friends understood. And once again in the end the same results! So now today I am 34 and remarried and I can't see a reason why I would need to take a break from my friends to work on my marriage. Why ALL of you ask? Because I am old enough to know and have enough experience to know that taking a break from my friends has nothing to do with me repairing my marriage! My wife and I are on an adult level where whatever problems we are having are our problems not our friends. And even if we hare information with our friends regarding our problems that should not add to our problems! I hang out more than some of my friends that are single and I'm married. That does not bother my wife and it doesn't bother me when she goes out even if we were having problems, why you ask? Well it's simple because like I said before {Because I am old enough to know and have enough experience to know that taking a break from my friends has nothing to do with me repairing my marriage! My wife and I are on an adult level where whatever problems we are having are our problems not our friends.} Now I'm not sure if most of you are on that same level and it sounds like you are not but I am sure you will be there one day. Hey I have been around the block and back lol! And Now Your Momma Knows!
Here is the point ant is getting at. A lot women automatically expect a man to put his friends aside and only be into the relationship while the woman feels like her friends have more priority and can stay around and still talk to and go ou...t with. So over time when a man drops off from talking to or going out friends it's normally to avoid having an argument with his woman which in the end causes frustration with that man which can cause problems in the relationship.So naturally a friend would feel some type way about that being brushed off. So this is kind of a no right or wrong answer. It all comes down to the overall maturity of the person you are dealing with at the time. Women should never make there man choose between her and his friends they are his friends for a reason. Some bridges shouldn't be burned cause if that relationship you had lost everything. So if the friend is feeling some type way do you still thinks it's wrong for them to do so or should they really step. Have you found yourself mad at a friend over a relationship situation you don't agree with?
That is such a good point Gene. Like for instance, {sorry to put you on the spot} but your last relationship you put us to the side almost through the whole thing and yes I messed with you some times saying that I am married and I hang out ...more than you do but I know that you were only trying to make your girl happy so it was cool with me but I been there done that so I just sat back and watched what was going to happen and what did happen in the end. And every time you and her broke up you hung out with your friends like CRAZY!!! Look we went to AC two weekends in a row. And look at me, my wife was there the first time and on Saturday she was not. No problem with my relationship because I'm going out with my friends without my wife. And why you ask well I will tell you why because we are adults and there should not be a problem to hang with your friends. What are friends for! Now does that mean I love my wife any less and love my friends more Hell No! Listen ONLY if my friends and my wife has a direct problem with my wife then at that point I might may have to put some space in between us but that is about it.
Well duh usually dat is the case gene lol. We all have diff opinions i aint sayin any1 is wrong 4 they opinion im jus statin how i feel aint dat the point of ya question 4 the day?
ok then. U know about me anyway im cool wit hangin wit the fellas so more than likely personally 4 me ima put the problem 2 the side nd say lets all go out
Anthony,Eugene let me tell you a lil story(crystal this is not about you....lol) I had an associate that was married and her husband just loved to be around his friends to the point he was not paying any attention to his her...He trusted th...is one friend to the point where he let him wait at his house when he's not there/drive his wife and kids around without him being there...In the interim the bestfriend and wife became good friends and eventually lovers...to make a long story short your friends are observing your short comings and wouldn't mind crossing that line to put a smile on your woman face....pay attention to your woman and watch your friends!
Sorry people I am at work today but Marsha you had me CRACKING up with that one (crystal this is not about you....lol) LOL!!! And I would have to agree in that situation them maybe some type of understanding with that friend needed to be made. But that was what I was asking for. I just wanted one of you to tell me in what way should a person have to take time away from their friends to fix their relationship.
OK everyone keep your head up! I am attempting to do some work today!!! Wish me luck!
ReplyDeleteOK so I am working but at the same time I am checking out what is going on with in the walls of facebook. So I have some entertainment for you. My friend Eugene posted one of his questions for the day on his page and it started some controversy. So check it out:
ReplyDeleteQuestion for today. Do you thinks its wrong for someone to put there close friends on hold in order to concentrate on repairing a rocky marraige or relationship?
ReplyDelete-ifeel as tho ' if u really have confidence &nd faith that ur marraige or relationship is going to last &nd is worth trying to repair...than yeaah ifeel thats oh'kay to put ur close friends on hold &nd if they are close friends lke they are suppose to be than they will still be there when u finish repairing ur marriaige or friendship.
ReplyDeleteNo they're probably the reason your marriage/relationship is rocky in the first place
ReplyDeleteReal friends going to support you even if they feel you're making a bad decision or not. If they not your real friend they going feel like you're pushing them aside and just stop talking to you all together.
ReplyDelete-thats excatly my point...
ReplyDeleteNo its not wrong plus a friend is supposed to be their in support if they can't understand they are not a friend.
ReplyDeleteYes, if they are good friends then they would know when to fall back
ReplyDeleteWell marsha I don't think that's completly the case most good friends would support you no matter what. Than you have some friends who are jealous of what you have and would rather see your relationship or marraige fail.
ReplyDeleteThat's my point those type of friends are not your friends....Like Kathy said friends know when to fall back if they are your true friends......
ReplyDeleteYou also have some friends that you would complain to about your realationship too despite what ever advice they give you going do what you feel is right for you until the time comes to call the relationship quits. Now do you that friend should feel insulted that you went against there advice even though they predicted the end result of that relationship?
ReplyDeleteQuestion? What could possibly make you have to push your close friends to the side to work on your marriage? This is the reason why so many relationships have guys or girls NEVER hanging out or spending time with their close friends. Why do people feel that they have to take a break from their friends in order to make their relationship work? I did that before but I was in my early 20's! I think once you grow up mentally to a certain point and are dating someone who also has past that younger way of thinking you will find that your relationship problems should NOT have to add up to you take time or space away from anyone!
ReplyDeleteThat's the major problem with some marriages/relationships - the people in them talk too much. They tell all their business to any "friend" who will listen or that they feel will be on their side - never telling of all the things they are doing wrong - only highlighting the negetive traits of the spouse. People in marriages especially should seek counsel from those who have experience in what they are going through. Friends should not know eveything that is going on between a husband and wife as well meaning as they are
ReplyDeleteI don't think it's wrong,a true friend will understand that your're trying too repair your marriage/relationship, and will step back!
ReplyDeleteQuestion in what situation does the true friend need to no longer be around in order for a person to repair their relationship? That is what I would like to know from everyone that agrees that the friends should take some space away. Unless the friends are within the problem then what is the purpose for you to no longer remain friends?
ReplyDeleteAnthony that's a call that you would make not the friend,If a friend knows your're trying to repair your relationship/Marriage they will step a side for the time being until you come around!
ReplyDeletenobody is saying stop being friends but in marriage, your top priority is keeping your family in tack and if your friend is true he or she knows how important that is and will automatically take a step back. I'm not suggesting you don't talk to this person just spend more time repairing your relationship.
ReplyDeleteBut why would a person have to no longer remain friends in order for a relationship to work? See in my experience this is usually something that a woman comes up with. But what they don't realize is they are only making their relationship worst by wanting their spouse friends to step away. There is a reason that guys have strong bonds with their friends. It helps a person become balanced. Sure I don't need to see my friends or talk to them everyday but I do enjoy their friendship and without it my balance is no longer their and trust me that is not going to make things any better for my spouse. She maybe happier but I will not and the pot will only start to boil over!
ReplyDeleteTHANK YOU KATHY!!!
ReplyDeleteWow the FB marriage counselors.
ReplyDeleteLMBO!!!! My baby brother!
ReplyDeleteThe thing is not one person has explained to me yet why a person friends would have to no longer be present if one was to have issues in their relationship. If everyone are adults and act as adults then who's to say you no longer should be as close as you were because you are having problems?
ReplyDeleteNo it is not wrong ur SPOUSE is" supposed" 2 come be4 evry1. @ant 2 answer ya question he didnt say no longer remainin frnds he said put them on hold, which shud be understood by true friends no mattter how much they dont want 2 or like it ...they will supprot ya decisions on wat u need 2 do 2 mend ur marriage. Sometimes frnds can interfere wit u mendin things wit the words they speak or jus by bein a true frnd nd always bein there when u need them cuz u may be leavin ur spouse 2 hang wit ur friends when u shud be home tendin 2 ur spouse.
ReplyDeleteAnthony are you that friend...you sound angry! LOL!!!!!
ReplyDeleteLmbo!!!!...Stevie crazy!
ReplyDeleteChaunte I once upon a time would agree with you but I do understand what you are saying. And sorry for saying that you can no longer be friends but I mean to be a friend on hold. OK here is some insight in to my life which is why I disagree with mostly all of you and let me know if you under stand or agree.
ReplyDeleteI got married when I was 18 and I use to take breaks from my friends for my wife at the time. Long story short in the end it got me no where but my friends are still here. They did understand and they did step away. OK years later I was around 23 and I had another serious long term relationship where I was with a girl for 5 1/2 years. Every so often she felt that I should take a break from my friends and give her all of my attention and only be around her. So once again I did and once again my friends understood. And once again in the end the same results! So now today I am 34 and remarried and I can't see a reason why I would need to take a break from my friends to work on my marriage. Why ALL of you ask? Because I am old enough to know and have enough experience to know that taking a break from my friends has nothing to do with me repairing my marriage! My wife and I are on an adult level where whatever problems we are having are our problems not our friends. And even if we hare information with our friends regarding our problems that should not add to our problems! I hang out more than some of my friends that are single and I'm married. That does not bother my wife and it doesn't bother me when she goes out even if we were having problems, why you ask? Well it's simple because like I said before {Because I am old enough to know and have enough experience to know that taking a break from my friends has nothing to do with me repairing my marriage! My wife and I are on an adult level where whatever problems we are having are our problems not our friends.} Now I'm not sure if most of you are on that same level and it sounds like you are not but I am sure you will be there one day. Hey I have been around the block and back lol! And Now Your Momma Knows!
ReplyDeleteHere is the point ant is getting at. A lot women automatically expect a man to put his friends aside and only be into the relationship while the woman feels like her friends have more priority and can stay around and still talk to and go ou...t with. So over time when a man drops off from talking to or going out friends it's normally to avoid having an argument with his woman which in the end causes frustration with that man which can cause problems in the relationship.So naturally a friend would feel some type way about that being brushed off. So this is kind of a no right or wrong answer. It all comes down to the overall maturity of the person you are dealing with at the time. Women should never make there man choose between her and his friends they are his friends for a reason. Some bridges shouldn't be burned cause if that relationship you had lost everything. So if the friend is feeling some type way do you still thinks it's wrong for them to do so or should they really step. Have you found yourself mad at a friend over a relationship situation you don't agree with?
ReplyDeleteThat is such a good point Gene. Like for instance, {sorry to put you on the spot} but your last relationship you put us to the side almost through the whole thing and yes I messed with you some times saying that I am married and I hang out ...more than you do but I know that you were only trying to make your girl happy so it was cool with me but I been there done that so I just sat back and watched what was going to happen and what did happen in the end. And every time you and her broke up you hung out with your friends like CRAZY!!! Look we went to AC two weekends in a row. And look at me, my wife was there the first time and on Saturday she was not. No problem with my relationship because I'm going out with my friends without my wife. And why you ask well I will tell you why because we are adults and there should not be a problem to hang with your friends. What are friends for! Now does that mean I love my wife any less and love my friends more Hell No! Listen ONLY if my friends and my wife has a direct problem with my wife then at that point I might may have to put some space in between us but that is about it.
ReplyDeleteThis is getting interesting..Jerry Springer! Maury!
ReplyDeleteChaunte most of our views come from personal experience.
ReplyDeleteWell duh usually dat is the case gene lol. We all have diff opinions i aint sayin any1 is wrong 4 they opinion im jus statin how i feel aint dat the point of ya question 4 the day?
ReplyDeleteyup
ReplyDeleteok then. U know about me anyway im cool wit hangin wit the fellas so more than likely personally 4 me ima put the problem 2 the side nd say lets all go out
ReplyDeleteAnthony,Eugene let me tell you a lil story(crystal this is not about you....lol) I had an associate that was married and her husband just loved to be around his friends to the point he was not paying any attention to his her...He trusted th...is one friend to the point where he let him wait at his house when he's not there/drive his wife and kids around without him being there...In the interim the bestfriend and wife became good friends and eventually lovers...to make a long story short your friends are observing your short comings and wouldn't mind crossing that line to put a smile on your woman face....pay attention to your woman and watch your friends!
ReplyDeleteSorry people I am at work today but Marsha you had me CRACKING up with that one (crystal this is not about you....lol) LOL!!! And I would have to agree in that situation them maybe some type of understanding with that friend needed to be made. But that was what I was asking for. I just wanted one of you to tell me in what way should a person have to take time away from their friends to fix their relationship.
ReplyDeleteExactly!! @Anthony LOL!!
ReplyDeleteHmmm wonder where kerrie is today. Guess the topic is to advanced for her
ReplyDeleteI think they should repair there marriage or relationship if its possible
ReplyDelete